So...What, Lord, are You now my reason for living?
And further, are You now my reason for giving?
And is my heart overflowing with this?
I have to say, No, at least not totally;
In spite of Your wonderful Gift.
But, You are the way I want it to be;
At least, now, the goal becomes clearer,
and, Yes, weíve had moments of intimacy
that I do want to go even further.
I know thereís a war inside of me,
saying, ďThis can never be trueĒ...
in this life; right here and right now,
when my actions are Lord of You.
What good then, teaching because, if I canít see;
The door out of addiction is too hard for me!
It becomes survival in that pre-cursed way;
Unbreakable chains for another day.
How, then, could He say,ďCome and follow MeĒ
and not give me His power for victory?
Is only the way that can ever be,
by corporate power of unity?
Ananias was involved with oneís that saw this
and he, too, wanted to be
a part of all his eyes had observed...
without being One with Me.
What, then, is being One with You?
I thought that I already was.
Keep listening to Me; Keep asking of Me;
This is My way because...
You will not settle for anything less
than all that I said to manifest;
Iím leading you into experiences of Me;
Keep your ears open; My eyes do see
the paths that arenít yet, clear to you;
But, I guarantee, they will be soon!
My plan is to persuade you right out of doubt...
so youíll know what living is all about;
Donít let the fact that your seventies
have made it too late for desires from Me.
My plan is to give you every one;
If necessary, Weíll add some years on!
Lord, I love it when you talk that way;
You resurrect hope for another day;
It seems when You show me, desires of Your Heart;
My mind automatically assumes
that this is something I have to pull-off
and the flower just never blooms.
Well, I do, in a sense, have to pull this off;
But, not on my own, without You;
You guaranteed that You wouldnít leave,
as well as not forsake, too.
It seems that the battle raging in me,
is, killing excuses so that I can be
right in the midst of all that You said;
To let You raise this one thatís been dead!
So, is this right? My responsibility is then,
responding to You the way Lazarus did?
Even thou dead, he heard Your call
and walked out with no decay at all.
I donít mean ďa callĒ in some far- out way;
I mean read and do then, all that You say;
And, if I donít really understand,
which is even harder to believe;
At least I can admit, I donít want to;
The first step to not walking deceived.
I can see that I walk in this path for one day;
And assume that I really will be o.k.;
Then, tomorrow dawns and Iím lord again
to do my own thing and the battle begins.
Iíve concluded, I donít like to live by faith;
Iíd rather cover my tail;
You wouldnít think this would be such a battle,
when Iíve proven that my way will fail...
But, not before it tires me out;
Thatís all a part of the plan;
Iím more easily molded when I am in doubt
and Iím apt to forget who I am.
Thank-you, Father, that You will never forget
that I am inscribed on Your Hands;
And Youíre revealing Your Heart so Iíll know...
Who The I AM says that I am!
So, Iím trying to evaluate honestly
when I read things like: ďSell all you have...Ē
What is the thing that it triggers in me?
(beside making me really mad).
Itís one thing to sell all
that youíve worked hard to get;
But to give it away, quite another.
How could He possibly ask this of me?
He didnít; He answered a brother...
that must have seen something that he really wanted,
in spite of all of his wealth;
Yet, we feel so superior to the fact, he was sad;
Where does that leave your pitiful self?
Iím not even sure that he worked hard to get this;
He may have inherited it all;
The Word says he was rich and young and a ruler;
I donít know all that does involve;
But one thingís for sure; He wanted to keep it;
So following does have a cost;
Jesus wouldnít have told him to do
what would cause him any hurtful loss.
I think that the loss was the thing that would keep him
from gaining what he saw with his eyes
and not have to carry the load of the thing
rather, learn how to multiply.
Another thing just came to my mind;
If he gained this by his business sense,
he was then involved in promoting a system
thatís designed to keep him from rest.
He must have been witness to multiplication;
Seen needs met without any price;
Then we think to ourselves, inside of the box:
Oh man! That would really be nice!
He was walking around being all that He said;
ďCome and buy and sell without price!Ē
And further, ďSeek Me, first and these things
will be added.Ē
ďTest Me nowĒ; My Love will suffice.
Well, Iíve just exhausted many excuses;
and Iíve had some experiences in that:
In Him doing just what He said that He would;
Heís turning His faith into fact!!!
February l7th, 2005